Let’s Talk About Serial Monogamy
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The Best Man is one of my favorite movies. Not because I relate in any particular way to any character, though I feel like most menfolks with groups of friends probably fit in one way or another to a central character in the movie. It’s actually a good movie. Which is why I’m saddened that the sequel looks worse than Kanye West manhandling a paparazzi while news outlets report that George Zimmerman is a humanitarian and all around hero.
Seriously, Kanye can’t fight. He wasn’t even trying to fight dude, but he totally looked like he can’t fight. Reminds me of Tupac in Poetic Justice fighting Chicago. We know Tupac could throw them hands because he whooped The Hughes Brothers asses, but he didn’t look like he could…at all.
Well, The Best Man was the first time I’d ever heard the term “serial monogamist”. Harper was the king of leaving women strung out. According to Quincy, he’d get into these jive-ass public relationships, then as soon as the woman stepped outside of his little box, he’d kick them to the curb…presumably to do the exact same thing a short time later to somebody else. Which to me means that the general premise is that a person, more than likely to be a man, who bounces from serious relationship to serious relationship, without fully taking the time to process the previous relationship OR fully vet the new one.
Basically, its like a lot of stories we heard about folks who got married frequently because they clearly didn’t know that you didn’t have to get married. *coughRichardPryorElizabethTaylorDonaldTrumpcough* Or in this case, that you can just date people without fully committing until the time is right, and you don’t HAVE to do that right out of a previous relationship.
Let me switch gears for a second here. While I think that most women take the time to properly process a significant breakup or at least don’t quickly rush into new relationships, I’m not sure most men do or care to. We tend to just keep it moving. It becomes about sex as opposed to connection. Women don’t usually go that road. At least not to my knowledge. But something I have noticed is how little women seem to care that man is freshly out of a relationship. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong – I’m not, I’ve got enough anecdotal evidence here to convict and get the chair – but a significant number of women don’t seem to truly care how long an available man is out of his last relationship, they just care that he’s not in one. It could be a few weeks or a month. If she wants him, and he’s “available” she seems to be willing to take a shot, clearly hoping that he’s moved on.
I’ve seen and witnessed it with my own two eyes. To be clear, I do think there is something to be said about taking some time to get your life together. I think most of us men, myself included, could probably stand to do a lot more self-reflection. Not all, but most of us. But…and Tamika got a big ole butt…if you are newly single, and this super bad chick comes into your galaxy and is trying to get with you, and you’re a relationship type of guy, its not hard to see who you might fall RIGHT back into the same pattern you just exhibited. You can tell her you just broke up with your girl and she’ll ask why. Then she’ll ask if you’re over the ex? Pretty much as long as you don’t longingly look towards the left, right, sky, or Hell, and take too long to answer, she’s going to accept what you say as law. Remember, she’s pretty much already invested.
The point…of it allllllllllllllll…is that clearly being a serial monogamist isn’t ideal, but if women are quick to try to make that thing work so quickly how can we blame a man for going that route. Assuming he’s a relationship guy. The other side of this is a dude who never commits and keeps these women strung out on hope. Like Obama. I’m not blaming women for this as a man, seemingly should just take some accountability, but if we are able to get over women quickly – which it seems like most men are, whether that makes us dbags or not is up for debate, I’m going to say it just makes us different than our women counterparts – then why does any man need to be NOT committing to somebody new who has made it clear that she doesn’t care that he just got out of a relationship in the first place, leading to hopefully something bigger in the second place, though it likely won’t make it t the third place because he aint properly see if he could make it in the fourth place which basically, my ninja, PLEASE STOP F*CKING WITH THE OCEAN, MY NWORD! (gives a new meaning to the word “selfie” doesn’t it, nature be on that bullsh*t.)
Assuming my definition holds water, serial monogamist are dangerous because they actively entertain and commit to women largely in name only, as they’ve usually got one foot outside of the door. Is my definition correct? If so, what’s a reasonable amount of time for anybody to wait to get into a new relationship? But does that even matter if you ain’t reflecting anyway? Can women be serial monogamists?
IS THERE A CURE FOR IT?!?! And most importantly, why would anybody f*ck with the ocean?
Talk to me. Petey.